who says dating ain't hard work?

Adam and Eve (or Steve as the case may be these days). Samson and Delilah. Mars and Venus. Yin and yang. Husband and wife. These are a just a few male/female combinations that exist in the world we live in today. In a perfect world, these one-on-one pairings are the status quo and everyone is happy. Unfortunately, our world is not perfect. Infidelity is at an all time high (well, since statistics have been recorded – we aren’t quite Sodom and Gomorrah yet me thinks) and no end seems in sight. All over the world, women grow more worried about straying men and the wenches that lure them away. It is rather stereotypical to tag men as the offenders every time but for the sake of this argument, we will accept this stereotype. And off the record, we usually are anyway. There are many unanswered questions in existence that traverse the globe and come back full circle, still a mystery. Women have endless conundrums (what to wear; is my butt too big; what’s the offside rule; is this my left or my right) going on in their heads but the ultimate question for the fairer sex remains: why do men cheat? The debates raised by this question are endless, as are the offered responses. However, no general conclusion has been arrived at. The basic truth is that relationships are hard work. Probably the hardest, most intense job you will ever have. Yes, it is a job; be it pursuing one, maintaining one, sustaining one, fixing one or even ending one. Maybe that’s why men cheat. We see relationships as just another job that comes with all the frustrations and demands of a regular 9 – 5, the woman being the boss. You don’t see the connection? Well let me run you through the relationship (no pun intended) between work and women. They are the same thing really… from a man’s point of view anyway.

1. When job hunting, you don't drop your resume off at just one office, you spread it around. You can't put all your eggs in one basket.

2. After dropping off your CV, you sit back and wait for offers to come through. And don’t worry about getting caught out – EVERYONE LIES ON THEIR CV!

3. Some may reject you; others may call you in for a second, third (an so on) interview and others may hire you immediately. It all depends on your resume or their perception of who you are, possibly seeing vast potential in you.

4. If more than one offer is made, you need to handle your research thoroughly and make a firm decision as to which job suits you best.

5. After making your choice, you clearly but politely decline the other offers. Keep them open, however, as you never know how soon you might need to be flirting with another job.

6. Alternatively, especially when all offers made are very tempting (or your needs are many), some men work two jobs. Others take on weekend jobs as well. Some will work on public holidays and others still, will take vacation jobs. So realistically, but somewhat unlikely, some men can work (say it with me now) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 jobs minimum, at any given time, while some will still work more if they feel they can... or must.

7. However, the multi-job worker should know that if found out, he could be fired from all jobs simultaneously and immediately be thrown back into the unemployment market.

8. If you choose to work one job, it could prove to be very rewarding over a long period of time (emphasis on long) and your excellent performance will not go unnoticed, as your benefits and bonuses are sure to improve. Also watching though will be impressed rival companies who will try to lure you away.

9. However, if your performance is sloppy, you will be canned and all the other offers you shunned are likely to have gone with the wind. No one wants a liability. Do not fret however, for some low end, minimum wage paying job probably awaits you somewhere. Or not.

10. If you are indispensable to your company and have good job security, you are likely to be more adventurous and take more risks with your work. This will only last so long, however, as ultimately, EVERYBODY IS REPLACEABLE.

11. Some jobs are taken just for the working experience alone. Anything else that comes with it is just an added bonus.

12. Some jobs are pursued primarily for prestige and image reasons i.e. I work with such and such. Usually sought after by the uber-competitive, the jaded or the insecure.

13. At a certain point, work makes no sense if there is no job satisfaction. It doesn’t matter how attractive the package is anymore if you lack motivation for what you currently do.

14. When temping, it needs to be set straight from jump because failure to do so may destabilize the company for a while when it is time for you to leave. Also, your performance may attract a permanent offer from an impressed employer. What to do, what to do.

15. In today’s business world, mergers are second nature for growth. More heads means more resources, more ideas and more excitement. The biggest problem is always who really runs things after the merger as a staff shuffle is imminent.

16. The capable and inefficient worker alike, not everybody appreciates working overtime.

17. Even the worst of workers needs a retirement plan for no one knows what the future holds.

18. As opposed to being tied down by one employer, these days more and more people are providing their services to various organizations simultaneously, as consultants.

19. Discipline usually takes the form of warnings and suspensions. This gives the employee avenues to re-evaluate his situation and ample time to weigh other options.

20. Most jobs are taken for the comfort and security they might afford but the worker’s passion usually lies somewhere else.

21. A job, at the end of the day, is just a job but different offices come with different quirks and perks. Stories from different sources are enough to get the wheels turning.

22. Be careful who you get close to and what you say. Someone might be after your job.

23. If you are an asset to your company and you have a very possessive boss, leaving the company can be hell for you. Such employers will go to any lengths to ensure they get their way. If they can’t have you, no one else can.

24. Jobs have a way of demanding all your attention leaving little time for anything else.

25. Like every staffer in the world, you feel you are overworked but underappreciated, thus you keep looking for the job that will work you less but appreciate you more.

26. Being in charge of your own business, however, is the gift and the curse. You enjoy all the benefits and endure all the losses. You have to deal with efficiency and redundancy and treat them with the same attention. You are constantly looking for ways to stay relevant or improve on services provided. You have to keep the employee happy or run the risk of losing them to competitors, which is a harsh reality you have to deal with. This means you are never really stable and have your eye open for the best possible hands to hire all the time.

27. Alternatively, you could always choose sole proprietorship. This has the benefits of not having to take crap from anyone. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. All by yourself.

I hope this has helped shed some light on the situation? I know what you're thinking ladies... Work sucks, right? I agree but all the same, love it or leave it alone I always say.

Oh and one more thing; I of course work only one job at a time, which is a lot more than I can handle really but still I keep at it, getting paid, way above minimum wage.

(Originally posted on May 12th, 2006)