Sometimes, he just sits down and starts thinking. Thinking a lot! About nothing in particular but he starts looking at things from a different perspective. Then he comes in here and writes it out. Voila!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Aida

This was originally a story about infidelity but things changed as I was writing, so I decided to kill two birds with one catapult and edutain like I like to do. It is now a story about infidelity gone wrong. (Like it was right in the first place). Enjoy… or not!

This is the story of four great friends who grew up together, did everything together and always looked out for one another. They were very different in character which is what made their relationship special and kept things interesting, ultimately sustaining their relationship. Brian was Head of a Human Resources firm; Sean, a reporter for The Observer; Hertz (Father Solomon to his congregation), a Reverend at the “House of Blessed Hearts” Church and Richie, a cocky actor. They were a bunch of numskulls who could never agree on anything, which they clearly knew, but they still always consulted each other regardless, on everything, before making a decision. They had made a pact to never let anything come between them and they had kept to it, sacredly, until now…

The straw that finally broke the camel’s back was five foot seven inches of lady loveliness named Aida. She was, as The Mask would say: SMOKINGGGGGGGGG!

Sean saw her first (he always spotted things first, maybe due to his journalistic instincts) at the media launch of some new product and as always, he passed on the information to Brian first, who would in turn brief Richie and the Preacher would always be last to know because they felt they could do without his ‘wise words.’ They all had a woman in their lives but this was no ordinary woman. This was a once in a lifetime ‘epiphany’ if you will and upon seeing her, even Hertz let out an Amen. There was an after party which was no problem getting into because all their lines of work had them connected on end. A few phone calls here and there and Bob’s your uncle; they all got to share Sean’s view.

When the ‘Fab Four’ was finally assembled, the other three were in sync with their reporter friend. Even the holy man. To cut to the chase and call it what it is, she was sex in a tight dress and high heels. She had noticed Sean taking notice of her at the earlier event and noticed he had come to the after party ‘reinforced.’ She liked what she saw and she was the type of woman that took what she wanted. She approached the crew and Brian tried to get them to compose themselves and play it cool. However, Sean couldn’t stop staring, Hertz thumbed his Rosary beads nervously and Richie couldn’t hide his excitement. Aida had them right where she wanted.

A few drinks, shameless flirting and pointless banter later, Aida grabbed Richie and invited him over to her place; and his friends too. He almost spat out his entire drink at the sudden unbridled sincerity and suggestiveness of this temptress. He did dribble a bit and stain his pants which brought a naughty smile to her lips. “We’ll have to clean that up when we get to mine,” she teased. “Let me just dash to the little girls’ room real quick then we can blow this dump.” She kissed Brian’s forehead, stroked Sean’s temple and pinched Hertz’s chest; as if to re-emphasize her desire for all four, and then shimmied her pretty tushy towards the rest rooms. It gave them the opening they needed to have a quick huddle.

Their huddles were always the same, with Brian, the smart one, always disagreeing with the brash sensibilities of Richie, at which point Hertz, the voice of reason, would try to play mediator, while the ever observant Sean would try to put things in perspective.


Brian: I won’t even sit here and try to lie to you guys, that lady is a fox and I so want to go back to hers but let’s think about this for a second.

Richie: Think? What the fuck is there to think about? She wants to fuck and that’s all that matters. Actually, I wanna fuck too!

Brian: I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to as well…

Richie: So what the fuck we having this conversation for then?

Brian: Two words – girl & friend.

Richie: Oh, nigga please! What the fuck you gotta bring her up for?

Brian: Are you listening to yourself? You see a piece of ass and you forget her like that? Pastor, I think you need to pray for your friend.

Hertz: I understand from whence thou both spake, but tis not enough to fester ill feelings towards one another. She doth appear like the fairest of maidens but I sense a demon spirit within her…

Richie: See what you done smarty pants? You’ve let the loony Pas’a go off on one of his diatribes now. Talking demons and shit. Damn, if she got any, I need to be exorcising her ass, you know what I’m saying? Sheet!

Hertz: Mine friend, thou art right. Demon or angel spirit is not the case hither. However, I must concur with Brother Brian. Your love doth belong to another. Is it worth throwing away o’er a foolish pleasure?

Richie: I can’t believe you guys! I saw how you all looked at her, now you wanna get all righteous and shit. Sheet!

Sean: I have to agree with Dicky boy on that one though. Did you see how she strategically hiked her dress up to expose those spotless, hot legs? Or how she kept leaning in till we shared the same breaths? Tingling all over dude, for real! If y’all are seeing what I’m seeing, I say tap that and never look back.

Richie: Can I get an Amen Father Sol?

Hertz: Oh dear…

Brian: Listen to yourselves… you don’t even want to think about this thoroughly? She’s the hottest thing ever but do you want to throw a good thing away with Yvette?

Richie: Nigga, I ain’t gon’ tell Yvette shit and neither will any of you sorry ass mu’fuckas! We all took an oath and y’all know you want it! Am I lying, yo?

Hertz: The mind is strong but the flesh is weak…

Sean: You know I see your point and now, I see her walking back.

Brian: I do too but shouldn’t you…

Richie: Look nigga, that fine piece of ass is coming back this way and she wants us over at hers to do the nasty. That’s all that’s on my mind right now and I’m going, whether you coming or not. And that’s that mu’fucka. So who’s with me?

Hertz: I need to watch over you my easily excited friend. That is all that is e’er on your mind.

Sean: Yeah and I need to see this.

Brian: You just never listen. You are such a jackass! But we are boys and all in together, right? I don’t feel good about this but I guess I’ll have to go along with it. But Yvette man…

Richie: If you call her name one more time I’ma sock ya!

Aida: Shall we?


So, they all go back to her place. Richie gets into character and dives into it head first. Hertz can’t watch but he hears it all and cannot forgive himself. Sean looks at the episode unfold in front of him but often stops, as if to store the moment in his visual memory banks. Brian still doesn’t feel good about it but he has come along for the ride and has to live with the decision he has made… for the rest of their life.

Everything is normal for the first few months after Aida but the drama slowly starts to unfold. It starts with Richie. Work isn’t going too well. Usually a rock solid performer, recently he just hasn’t been able to rise to the occasion when required and stunts he has pulled repeatedly over the years with the greatest of ease become more difficult and even painful. Mr. ‘Cock Diesel’ isn’t so cocky anymore.

Hertz is having problems with the congregation. He finds it hard facing them and speaking righteousness since the Aida incident. He feels like the scum of the earth and undeserving of his position. The effect on him is traumatizing. The group’s conscience has lost his. He has constant nightmares and doesn’t know who to turn to as he is afraid to look to God.

Sean has lost focus. He doesn’t see things like he used to and his work is affected. He misses things that are right there and keeps bumping into problems at every turn. He can’t explain it but he knows he doesn’t feel like he once did. The work is too strenuous and the bosses have started to notice his lack of insight all of a sudden. The point man is now walking blindly.

Brian begins to question his position. If he cannot manage his dearest friends, people he knows everything about, is he actually capable of dealing with total strangers? Is he really good at what he does? Self doubt and guilt overtake him. He cannot shake the events of that night… and these constant headaches.

They have ignored the obvious for too long and decide to face their problems like they always have in the past – together. They seek professional help to look into their collective plight, as they all identified the same source of their problems – a fox named Aida.

They were prepared for bad news but instead, they got the worst…


BLOGSPOT
presents

a
DON CHI PRODUCTION

a
BLOG MARLEY
post

FALL OF MAN

Starring
THE BRAIN
THE EYES
THE HEART & SOUL
THE PENIS

and

Introducing
ACQUIRED IMMUNE DEFICIENCY SYNDROME
as
AIDA

21 Comments:

Anonymous Suzy Peaches said...

Oi,
You cant end it like that!
You better get to typing.
I want more - more - more!

3:55 PM

 
Anonymous dee (aka spiderwoman) said...

Thats an awesome story. I think it would make for quite an interesting short film on NTA. I also think it would help facilitate dialogue on the reality of AIDs. The AIDA-AIDS correlation is hilarious. All I can say is I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT A LOT!!

4:54 PM

 
Blogger Adaure said...

WOW... nice... i can definitely see this as a short flick...this dialogue in a smokey dingy bar with the sun seeping through....sponsored by MTN for World AIDS DAY.. that's hot....i was actually reading the lines in character.... dude you should really think about it... make it happen abeg

6:52 AM

 
Blogger jadedKiss said...

@adaure: do u work for mtn??!!lol.
ok that was deep, as all issues that have to deal with death and aids are.
as per the writing? well, i did scroll back up to re-read and connect... brian-brain, sean-seen, hertz-hearts, richie-uh.. er.. ok that one doesnt have a correlation as far as i could tell, but knowin u...
anyway. to the critique(which wil be brief cuz ive already expended all my energy commenting on your other blog)
it seemed a bit too simply written. that coulda been what helped make the conclusion more dramatic, but i wasnt in love with it. dialogue didnt seem particularly deeply thut out.. the entire piece seemed like the first draft of a masterpiece, the scrap of paper you used to jot down your initial idea.
i hope it wasnt in any way biographical?

11:14 PM

 
Blogger TaureanMinx said...

Part 2 please

10:02 AM

 
Anonymous zyl said...

eh, dis 'll definitely make 4 a gr8 flick. i was readin wit dudes in mind(and u'r one) until d end. op u aint relating a personal experience(who konws, lol). keep bloggin...

10:18 AM

 
Blogger Don Chi as Blog Marley a.k.a. El Senor Supremo said...

@suzy peaches:
uh, i can and i did. nothing more to type, sowwy :( there's no more... at least not for this story

@dee (aka patricia parker):
NTA? this babe, chill abeg. the AIDA-AIDS bit was a dead give away but I see u missed the twist. glad u like it still.

@adaure:
thanx. u asked me to come back, so had to come widdit ;) but why a dingy bar? Ha ha. And today is World AIDS Day o! Guess I messed up, eh? :(

@jadedkiss:
don't mind adaure o! outside of my bro and cousin (guess cuz they fam) u are the only person to get the twist (well, u do study Cheech 101 :p) and richie is short for richard, as is dick! ;) it was a simple piece ma. i am a simpleton. u want mind boggling, talk to wole soyinka. well, u don't have to love it but giving it the attention u did? highly appreciated ma. 4am baby. that was the 1st draft. it is biographical in a sense, i.e. it is a thot process i believe every man goes thru whether cheating or not.

@taureanminx:
of what please?

@zyl:
so what happened at the end that made you change your mind?

10:40 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How excellent a writer you are! you really do keep ur readers captivated by what's gonna happen next, or where exactly ur story is going. you are majorly clever and I applaud you, keep on with ur bloggs, they get better each time, well besides the ones i tell u r shit, ha! I hate leaving comments, love ya!

10:57 AM

 
Blogger Dimples said...

Oh FAB...bring on some more..
MWAH..you know nothing can quench this awa love...xxx

1:08 PM

 
Blogger Coolblue said...

Chichi, i must say you are talented.....I really enjoyed it, simple, the way i like it........Keep doing what you do, and i know you shall make it to the top. Its just the beginning........Also feeling your blog on possibilities as well, its something i am finding out myself..........Do what you do son.........

3:38 PM

 
Anonymous Miss E said...

Ok, so 1st things 1st..the English teacher himself made some grammatical errors that made me smile!! U knwo why boo. Media LUNCH, MINE friend, She was the TIME of woman???? hehe..i just had to darling.

Ok, I liked this piece. It had humour but yet was serious..I like Hertz..the part when he sees her n lets out an AMEN was funny...

Now why is it that they had nice names but once they started talking, their accents just didnt match. Sometimes they seemed Nigerian, then AMerican, then Nigerians wanting to be Americans....hmmm

Y is that peeps who will provide the most useful comments/advice are often the last to know things? We humans enjoy pleasing the flesh n we know that fighting the flesh is hard but yet run away from fighting it atimes..

Now dude...how dare u end like that? THAT night should have bn more detailed..YES! more descriptive....

My friend..do something...get to typing!

Nice work overall, I loooked at it and 1st thing I thought was 'u gotta be kidding me! How long is that! Not like its a 14page letter :)'...BUT once I started, you got me hooked. It was very captivating and I enjoyed it.....

3:51 PM

 
Anonymous Miss E said...

Now dont be predictable and check my own grammar! I already spotted some problems :)

3:57 PM

 
Anonymous DDE said...

Interesting take on not just one issue, but also on safe sex and AIDS. I wish i was as imaginative as u! That way I can finish the story myself. Cant wait to read your first novel. All the best

4:21 PM

 
Blogger Don Chi as Blog Marley a.k.a. El Senor Supremo said...

@anonymous:
stop it cousin! thanx dear. appreciate it but i hate to love u still :p

@dimples:
you what?

@coolblue:
bless you

@miss e:
who asked you? tcheeew! ha ha. i can swear i corrected those. mine friend was not an error tho, it was me trying to write olde english. everyone seems to like Hertz. The writer is a Nigerian that thinks he's American, what can I say? Hee hee. Glad you enjoyed it and will write the 'more' later but that's it! and i ignored your grammar. u kuku no sabi.

:D

4:26 PM

 
Blogger Ms. May said...

Good one Don! I'm interested to know how it ends. Don't take too long abeg.

11:16 PM

 
Anonymous zyl said...

...its gud to av dis drama played back over & over in ones imagination. the concludin part?....sorted out!

10:03 AM

 
Anonymous offy said...

like adaure, i was also reading in character. Brilliant stuff!!!

1:04 AM

 
Blogger Mona said...

CAN YOU PLEASE BRING US PART 2 PLEASE

12:44 PM

 
Blogger Don Chi as Blog Marley a.k.a. El Senor Supremo said...

@dde:
glad to edutain as always. ha ha on finishing the story yourself. my first novel on the way, many more some day ;)

PS - the story is finished tho :(

@ms. may:
not what i'm meant to be doing but that's a hot pic :D seriously though, glad you liked it but err... but that's it! there's no more story. sowwee.

@zyl:
you sure bout that sir?

@offy:
thanks queen. glad u like it. you stopped by on Marley's Blogspot before tho?

@mona:
uh, sorry fairy blog mother but ain't no part 2. this is it i'm afraid! :(

5:46 PM

 
Blogger daroche said...

wow that was one hell of a descriptive piece, u captivated the readers by putting them into the minds of the xters (exactly wat a top writer would do).jadedkiss said "it seemed a bit too simply written" for me thats always the catch, simple language helps carry the reader along, without them having to curse that you had a betta education than they did.

keep it up bro.

but for pete's sake, stop the shakara and end it joo.

1:11 PM

 
Anonymous tp said...

Finally read it. TOTALLY got it :p ...of course i was shaking my head at you all through... but i think the reason i totally got it is 'cause I know who wrote it (or maybe i'm just that smart)

4:17 PM

 

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